How to Pray

Knowing that prayer matters is one thing. Knowing how to actually pray is another.

The disciples understood the importance of prayer. It had been part of their religious lives from childhood. Yet there was something different about the way Jesus prayed. As they watched Him, they realised that prayer was more than a religious practice. It was a relationship with the Father.

So one of the disciples came to Jesus with a simple request:

Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples.

-- Luke 11:1 (NKJV)

Jesus answered them, and His teaching gives us a simple foundation for understanding how the believer should pray.

Begin With the Right Understanding of Prayer

Before we consider what to say when we pray, we need to understand what prayer is.

Prayer is not a formula for getting what we want from God. Neither is it a performance designed to impress Him or other people. Prayer is our communication and fellowship with God.

This is why the condition of our heart matters.

James writes:

You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

-- James 4:3 (NKJV)

The problem was not that these people were asking. The problem was the motivation behind their asking. Their prayers were centred on themselves and their own desires.

Jesus addressed another wrong approach to prayer when He warned against praying simply to be seen by others. Some people used prayer as a public performance, wanting the approval and admiration of those around them. Jesus made it clear that although they might receive recognition from people, that recognition would be their only reward (Matthew 6:5).

These warnings help us establish our starting point: prayer is not about impressing God, manipulating God or impressing people. It is about coming honestly into God's presence.

Once we understand that, we can begin to see how Jesus taught us to approach Him.

Pray to the Father

When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, the first words He gave them were:

When you pray, say: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

-- Luke 11:2 (NKJV)

Notice where Jesus begins: Our Father.

Prayer begins with relationship.

We are not approaching a distant or unknown God. Through Christ, we are invited to approach God as our Father. Prayer is therefore not merely a religious obligation; it is the privilege of coming into the presence of the One who knows us, loves us and cares for us.

Jesus Himself demonstrated this confidence in His relationship with the Father. Before raising Lazarus from the dead, He prayed:

Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me.

-- John 11:41–42 (NKJV)

There is a remarkable confidence in those words. Jesus did not approach the Father wondering whether He would be heard. He knew the Father and trusted Him.

Jesus then used the relationship between a parent and child to help us understand God's heart:

What man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent?... how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

-- Matthew 7:9–11 (NKJV)

If imperfect human parents understand how to give good gifts to their children, how much more does our heavenly Father care for His children?

This gives us the right perspective in prayer. We come to God not as strangers trying to persuade a reluctant deity, but as children approaching a loving Father.

Bring Your Requests to Him

Understanding God as Father does not mean that we stop asking Him for things. In fact, Jesus repeatedly taught His disciples to bring their needs before God.

The Father already knows what we need, but He still invites us to ask. Prayer is therefore an expression of dependence.

When we bring our needs to God, we are acknowledging that we need Him. We are saying, in effect, Father, I trust You with this.

This is why prayer can include everything from our greatest burdens to our smallest concerns. God is not inconvenienced by the needs of His children.

We can bring Him our fears, decisions, relationships, finances, responsibilities, disappointments and hopes.

But there is an important balance. We do not come to God simply demanding that He give us what we want. We bring our requests while trusting His wisdom and submitting ourselves to His will.

That leads to the next principle.

Pray According to God's Will

The goal of prayer is not to bend God's will until it agrees with ours. Prayer also changes us, bringing our desires into alignment with His.

The apostle John writes:

Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.

-- 1 John 5:14 (NKJV)

Praying according to God's will means allowing what God has already revealed about Himself to shape what we ask.

We see God's character and purposes throughout Scripture, and we see them expressed perfectly in the life of Jesus.

Jesus demonstrated compassion toward the suffering. He healed the sick, delivered those who were oppressed, welcomed the rejected, forgave sinners and continually revealed the heart of the Father.

The more we understand Scripture and the life of Christ, the more clearly we understand what is consistent with God's heart.

This is why prayer and Scripture should never be separated.

The Bible teaches us who God is; prayer allows us to respond to who He is.

As we spend time in God's Word, our prayers become increasingly shaped by His character rather than simply by our circumstances.

Pray in the Name of Jesus

Jesus also taught His disciples to pray in His name:

Whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.

-- John 14:13–14 (NKJV)

To pray in Jesus' name is more than simply adding the words “in Jesus' name” to the end of a prayer.

It means approaching the Father based on who Jesus is and what He has accomplished.

We do not come before God because we have earned the right to be heard. We come because Christ has opened the way for us.

Praying in Jesus' name therefore means praying in a way that is consistent with His character, His purposes and His will.

It is an expression of dependence upon Christ.

We are essentially saying, Father, I come to You because of Jesus. I trust in Him, I belong to Him, and I want what brings glory to You.

Prayer Is a Relationship, Not a Formula

At this point, it is important to recognise what Jesus did not prescribe.

He did not give His disciples a specific physical posture that must always be used. He did not say that prayer must take place at a particular time of day. He did not establish a minimum number of minutes that must be prayed each day.

The Bible shows people praying in different places, at different times and in different circumstances.

You can kneel or stand. You can pray in the morning or at night. You can pray quietly or speak aloud. You can pray for a few minutes or spend an extended period in God's presence.

The important thing is not the technique. It is the relationship.

What Scripture does emphasise is consistency. Jesus taught that people always ought to pray and not lose heart (Luke 18:1).

Prayer is therefore not something we practise only when life becomes difficult. It is meant to become part of the rhythm of our lives.

Developing a Life of Prayer

A healthy prayer life does not usually develop overnight. It grows through consistency.

Start simply.

Set aside time to be with God. Begin by acknowledging who He is. Thank Him for His goodness. Worship Him. Confess your sins. Bring your requests before Him. Pray for the people around you. Open the Scriptures and allow God's Word to shape your thoughts and desires.

And then keep coming back.

Some days prayer will feel powerful and deeply meaningful. Other days it may feel ordinary. There may be moments when you know exactly what to say and others when you struggle to find the words.

Do not measure your prayer life by how you feel. Prayer is an act of faith. We come because God has invited us to come.

The more consistently we pray, the more we discover that prayer is not primarily about finding the right words or obtaining everything we ask for. It is about knowing God, trusting Him, depending upon Him and allowing Him to shape our lives.

The Simple Pattern of Prayer

The teaching of Jesus gives us a clear pattern:

Pray to the Father. Come to God with the confidence of a child approaching a loving Father.

Bring your requests. Tell Him honestly what you need and what you are carrying.

Pray according to His will. Allow Scripture and the character of Jesus to shape your desires.

Pray in the name of Jesus. Approach the Father through Christ and depend upon what He has accomplished.

Pray consistently. Make prayer a rhythm of your life rather than merely a response to crisis.